Heaven 90210

"Straighten me out Bert, I musta got some bad liquor."
Dave Koch's Top Ten Quotes From It's a Wonderful Life (#4)

Slack issue #5- The SLACK TV Issue
Holidays 93/94 (published 12.12.93)

I turn on the television and my kids stop and stare-- they literally become zombies! It is amazing the effect it has on them. They don't watch a lot of TV at all. I read in the newspaper last week the national averages of 2-3 years old kids that have TVs in their rooms-- and it makes me nuts-- why should a 3 year old child have a TV in their room!! My kids don't have a TV in their room. They maybe watch 2-3 hours of TV a week! A week!... some kids younger that 3 watch that much a day- it is crazy!

Now when I was a kid I did watch a lot of TV. I watched it in the morning before school, after school and in the evening. Some Saturdays I literally watched TV from 6:00 AM (the Canadian station had the original Spiderman cartoon on, the one with the catchy theme song) until noon. I somehow managed to turn out all right... if you disregard my short attention span, irritability issues, wild mood swings and an inability to concentrate.

This fifth issue of Slack- the SLACK TV ISSUE is when the magazine really hit it's stride and got going. Sixteen pages chock full of musings on TV including the marketing of It's a Wonderful Life, TV as a drug, the heroes of Beverly Hills 90210, and an article about how TV isn't to blame for all the violence in the world (in 1993).

This issue features a great interview with Mr. Lance Diamond, one of our first angry letters from a reader (a Miss Holly Sinnott), a thorough list of Batman TV villains, Top Ten Xmas Gifts From the Dollar Store (how slack can you get), 14 DJ lists, and a compiled list of the best Xmas rock songs.

Some Notes about this issue:

> Charlie Quill, I borrowed your Reverend Horton Heat CD cover to scan to include with your review in this issue- I still have it, if you want it back. Your CD may be lonely without the liner notes.

> A great Lance Diamond quote:

"A busload of Nardin Academy girls passed me the other day and they hollered, 'Lance Diamond... we saw you on MTV... you were awesome." You know... I felt good about that."

> The photo (to the right) of me with my face pressed against the inside of a TV screen was achieved by scanning my face on the flatbed scanner- with my eyes open... I am still seeing spots 15 years later...

> The space issue (or lack of) is really apparent in this issue- I think the Horrorscope is probably 3 pt. type. Again, get me the magnifying glass.

> The Batman Villains list was apparently incomplete- the next issue features a letter from a reader named Southpaw Joe (the 'King of Ice and Snow'), that filled in the blanks with some missing villains including: Lady Penelope Peasoup, Clock King, Lola Losange, Nora Clavicle and lawyer Lucky Pierre, who was played by former JFK press secretary Pierre Salinger. The fans got a little creepy once in a while...

Download it here: Slack Magazine n. 5, The SLACK TV Issue Issue (6.1 mg)

Don't forget these issues already up:
Slack Magazine n. 18, The Two-Year Anniversary! issue
Slack Magazine n. 11, The True Crime Issue
Slack Magazine n. 9, The Dead Rock Stars Issue
Slack Magazine n. 8, The Beer Issue
Slack Magazine n. 6, The Buffalo Issue
Slack Magazine n. 4, SEX in the '90s Issue
Slack Magazine n. 3, The Politico Issue
Slack Magazine n. 2, The Travel Issue
Slack Magazine n. 1, The Debut Issue

BONUS BEATS: Lance & Goo Goo Dolls on MTV Bitch- -click here-- Rockin in 93!